Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Hmmm, having one guy regularly providing me with entertaining if
slightly insane snippets of conversation may well mean this blog
receives more updates in future.
- Stuart, what is the musician?
- You're gonna have to be a bit more specific there I'm afraid.
- Hmmm... a British musician, from the 60s. Not Bob Marley... the
- OK. Well, Bob Marley was neither British, nor that active in the 60s.
- No not Bob Marley. The other one.
- The other British musician from the 60s. Let me see...
- Like a rolling stone...
- Ah, Bob Dylan?
- He wasn't British either.
- Bob Dylan. So, does he play? Here?
- Does Bob Dylan play here?! In this pub?!
- No. *thoughtful pause* Is Bob Dylan Bob Dylan?
- Is Bob Dylan Bob Dylan? You're asking me if Bob Dylan is himself?
- Yes. Is Bob Dylan Bob Dylan?
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
This post is dedicated to a guy who comes into the pub I work in, every single day. He's harmless enough, but can get a little annoying at times. Still, he makes for choice entertainment during slow shifts. I'll attempt to explain a little about his basic nature. He's quite capable of holding a normal conversation, and in fact talks a lot. Too much. He'll slip from bursts of hearty laughter, often completely random and unrelated to the topic of talk, and bouts of earnest concentration, which usually precede a question, uttered in the most serious tone of voice despite the fact that they are usually something mundane. Example: He'll look you in the eye, and talk in a low voice, as if a doctor informing you you have terminal cancer, and then his question will be, "Do you enjoy sports?" Whatever the answer, he'll either consider it a little and ask a follow up question, or just chuckle. If you join him in the chuckle, he'll chuckle louder, and I've discovered it's quite possible to induce the heartiest of guffaws, if you gradually increase the volume of your own laughter. Fun.
Sometimes, his questions are utterly random, as if he's just voicing the end of a thought process that's been going on inside his head for a while, but which obviously no-one else has been privy to. Example: He'd evidently been considering the concept of vegetarianism, and had possibly had a prior conversation with someone about it. His question to me, preceded by nothing related was, "Stuart. Tell me, would you ever eat a fish without a face?" From this I can only assume he'd been involved in an earlier conversation in which someone had mentioned that they wouldn't eat a fish served with its head still attached, but coming out of the blue like that, it threw me a little. I humoured him and told him that faceless fish are the only kind of fish I'll consider eating, and now he's obsessed with finding out more about these mythical faceless fish.
A couple of nights ago, this conversation happened: