Tuesday, 7 June 2011

100 Things It's Impossible To Look Cool Whilst Doing

1) Carrying three pints without looking like a Praying Mantis
2) Walking barefoot across a hot/pebbly beach
3) Manually winding down car windows
4) Getting change out of your wallet
5) Opening the little fruit/veg bags at supermarkets
6) Running for a bus
7) Eating Mini Cheddars from the bag
8) Drinking through a straw from a carton
9) Chasing and trying to pick up a bouncing rugby ball
10) Standing up on a bus if your head is higher than the roof
11) Sipping a hot drink
12) Wearing a cycling attire (helmet, lycra shorts...)
13) Asking for condoms in a shop
14) Standing around in a women's clothes shop whilst your girlfriend tries stuff on
15) Scraping dog poo off your shoe
16) Turning around after taking a turn at bowling
17) Getting up after tripping over
18) Dropping to one knee to tie a shoelace
19) Jogging from a distance to a door someone is holding open for you
20) Running whilst clutching pockets to prevent spillage
21) Holding a sparkler
22) Holding a friend’s drink and your own whilst they use a pub toilet
23) Gargling
24) Eating spaghetti
25) Eating corn on the cob
26) Climbing the steps in a swimming pool
27) Looking down a telescope
28) Chasing after money in the street
29) Picking up a bunch of documents after dropping them
30) Reading a broadsheet newspaper
31) Reaching around to plug something into the back of a computer
32) Vaccuuming
33) Wearing rubber gloves
34) Carrying toilet roll on a campsite
35) Taking a small dog for a walk
36) Wearing just socks
37) Sitting in a car wash
38) Threading a needle
39) Blowing out a candle
40) Getting food at a carvery
41) Using a footpump
42) Perching on the arm of a chair
43) Squeezing through the closing doors on the tube
44) Wearing a hairnet
45) Walking on ice
46) Sharing a pair of headphones
47) Untangling headphones
48) Squatting
49) Taking a shower when there is no wall mount
50) Getting frisked at the airport
51) Getting something out of your eye
52) Walking up a steep hill
53) Escaping from a jumper with a tight neck
54) Changing direction in the street when you forget something
55) Blowing up balloons
56) Fanning away a flying insect
57) Carrying a chair
58) Doing that shuffle thing when you need to get past someone walking in your direction
59) Buying wellingtons
60) Wiping a pair of spectacles
61) Removing a condom
62) Correcting an umberella that's been blown inside-out
63) Holding your girlfriend's/sister's/friend's purse/handbag
64) Wearing sandals/flip-flops and socks together
65) Pruning a rose bush
66) Flailing around whilst ice/roller skating
67) Wearing a wetsuit
68) Wearing a tucked in t-shirt
69) Having visible bogeys
70) Having a dentist fiddle around in your mouth
71) Using a hulahoop
72) Flossing your teeth
73) Picking out a wedgie
74) Sucking a gobstopper
75) Wearing a beer hat
76) Sneezing/blowing your nose
77) Trying to attract a waiter's attention
78) Blowing a bubblegum bubble
79) Weighing yourself
80) Sitting on a toilet
81) Walking out of an exam early
82) Packing your bags at the supermarket checkout
83) Hopping around trying to put trousers on
84) Zipping up your fly
85) Learning to skateboard
86) Crying
87) Having an eye test
88) Talking to someone who is hard of hearing
89) Being examined by a doctor
90) Throwing up
91) Trying to cool hot food that's already in your mouth
92) Singing karaoke
93) Having your nose covered in sun tan lotion
94) Wearing goggles
95) Wearing Speedos
96) Putting a contact lens in
97) Handing out brochures
98) Walking into the wind
99) Wiping anything of the seat of your pants
100) Carrying a heavy rucksack

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