Friday, 21 August 2009

On ants

I fucking hate having ants in my flat. I've no idea how to get rid of them. It's not like there are ever large visible hordes of them (unless I leave food out) but it's still pretty vile having a few running around my bedroom and kitchen floor. What the fuck are ants doing hanging out on the 6th floor anyway?!

I have ant traps, but they're not much use unless I know where they are coming from. Yesterday, having tried and failed reasoning with them I decided to set a trap. I noticed a few on the floor in my room so strategically placed tiny pieces of ham and bread in their path. One went for the ham, so I painstakingly followed him, and to my dismay found that he went back into hiding via a crack between my floorboards! If that's how they are getting in and out I don't stand a chance against the little fuckers since there are literally hundreds of these cracks. Anyway, being the professional I am, I sellotaped over that particular one, leaving the little guy's followers somewhat confused. One of them then went for the bread, so I got down on my knees and followed him. After almost an hour of tracking (I think he was wise to my game as he kept doubling back on himself in an attempt to throw me off the trail) he finally headed towards a relatively large crack in the corner of the skirting board. The breadcrumb was a bit too large to get through so he hollered to his mates for help, and when they emerged, I squished the lot, taped up the hole, and laid the trap there. So far so good...

No comments: